• Desha

Choices


Choices. Our days are made up of probably hundreds of choices, from the time our eyes open, until they close at night. Choice is basically a decision that is made between two or more possibilities. We choose whether or not to hit the snooze button, or to just turn it off, or to get up. We choose what to eat, what time to eat, what to have to eat. We choose which shoe to put on first. We choose to get angry, or choose to change our thought to something else. We can let people dictate our feelings through the day, or to just let it go and realize it's not about us. When I was younger, I didn't even realize I had some of these choices. Some things happened to me that were beyond my control, as it happens, today. Some of these things were ingrained in me, to where I didn't even have an awareness of choice. I let people choose for me. I let people dictate who I was. I let people make me feel inferior; not good enough. I let it happen to the point where I didn't even know who I was, and what's worse- I didn't realize it. I chose to take that first drink, that first line, that first hit, as many have taken one, some, or all of the above. I did not choose to become an addict or alcoholic. I did not choose to lead a life of self-destruction. I didn't realize that was what I was doing for quite some time. Once I realized it, the sick part of me didn't care. I didn't have the awareness to care. I was sick. After many years, and many attempts at getting sober, I chose to do whatever it took. Something(s) brought me to that point, as what happens with many things in life, where we decide it's time for change. I chose to take a chance at a different life. I chose to better myself, which helped to better the world around me- including Bella's world. I made the decision to work on myself, and still do, today. I chose to let Faith in my life. I know who I am, now, and choose to continue to grow in that. I chose to step out to another different life almost a year ago. I am choosing not to get rattled. I am choosing to stay focused. I am CHOOSING to not let FEAR have its ugly way. I choose to change the thoughts that want to tell me differently, because i had to learn how to do so. I had, and still have, the desire to think differently, and to see the world differently. I want to learn to see, think, and feel differently. I chose it then, and I choose it, now. I choose Life over death. And that has made all the difference. Sunset at Pine Point, Maine, 11.5.16



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