“I am thankful for my struggle because without it, I wouldn't have stumbled upon my strength.” ~
This quote reminds me of so much in my life, and the lives of others. I have struggled my whole life with so many things, as we probably all have. But after my head became clearer, and I found my Path, I can see how all the struggles I have faced can become such great assets in life- to others, myself, and to God. We all have at least one thorn in our sides; something that we have to live with, that God just won't remove. We learn to live with it; we learn to work around them. We shift focus. Today in church, we discussed how some people, even with good intentions, could cause someone to stumble. Peter, called "The Rock" by Jesus, became, or almost became, a stumbling block for Jesus. How often do we try to help (or do for) another, to where a lesson is lost? I remember hearing one time- a father had been sober for 20-some years, and his son was struggling with addiction. He knew he couldn't help him, but could be an example, and a guide. I remember him saying, referring to his son, "Who am I to deny him his pain?". Wow! That floored me when I heard that sentence. Sound familiar? Our struggles make us stronger. I hate them most times, but I do have some peace and comfort in knowing that it's temporary- just as our lives are, and that there will always be something, and that I'll most likely get through it. I am selling my house. I feel a bit overwhelmed right now with all I have to get done and go through, but I am not alone, as alone as I can feel at times. I can be alone, but not lonely- big difference. Sometimes things happen where people may intentionally or unintentionally kick you while you're down. But our own response to it, is the only way we can let that happen, and it's hard sometimes. People always say things, do things, right to you or behind your back, just as probably most of us have done the same. We are all fallible; none of us are perfect. We all stumble, and may even cause someone who may be weaker in some way, to stumble. When we put our faith in one person or persons, or situation(s), we will be let down eventually. I cannot do that, just as I cannot count on photography, Bella, or anything on earth to give me complete comfort. But they sure as heck are great aids. But the peace I have is from God, through these things, and through Bella. I know things will be ok, even though my insides can feel as though they are getting ripped out at times. I will add- I didn't even think about drinking or using anything else mind-altering. That, itself, is a blessing. Nothing is worth that. One problem can potentially become a thousand. I am just tired. I am drained, to be exact. My cousin with whom I grew up, came down for a short visit- probably the last visit to the home in which we grew up together. We reminisced a bit, went through a few things, and just was kinda nice. I just need a break for a day, but can't seem to find it right now, so I just press on. I have some things to sell, so I'll be posting things here and there on my page. The more that goes, the better. I try to remain in gratitude, even through my struggles. I hate for Bella to take on any discomfort I'm feeling. I want her to have the best life ever. Sometimes we have to sacrifice. I am sacrificing my house to follow what I believe to be God's will. It's just a thing, anyway. Many may not agree because of their own experiences, but I know this is the right thing for me, for now. I've felt and have known for years, that this would most likely happen. Things appear to be falling into place for this to happen, now. The time has come. I will also try to set aside my tiredness and frustration at times, and sadness, and the overwhelmed feeling I have, so Bella can be more comfortable, and so she knows it's not her, or so she doesn't take it on, herself. She so very much wants to please, and oh, how she does. I also want to say- that I do have an inner peace and joy in seeing what's to come, and for the anticipated benefits of all this. Part of me is excited for change, and to see what's in store. I hope the next person at this house can really help it find it's full potential, just as we continue seeking our potential in life. Because of my struggles- past and present- I have found, and continue to find, my strength. Strength I never knew I had; strength I never knew was even possible. It's a beautiful thing. This was a sunset at Hardings Beach in MA. I am really looking forward to getting back there. Peace. Feel free to contact me for prints or for use of the photo. Feel free to share.