• Desha

The Physical Side of Addiction/Alcoholism:


The physical side of addiction/alcoholism: I remember when I realized I was withdrawaling from alcohol. I felt awful all the time, but honestly didn't realize why. I can't even remember what lead me to the computer too look up alcohol withdrawal, but when I pulled up the information, it all made sense. I was experiencing almost all of the symptoms listed. You don't have to have them all, but what I continually had (and yes, I'm going to be blunt): Sweating Chills Weakness Headache Nausea and/or vomiting / cramping Diarrhea (and explosive, and watery, at times) Shaking Continual fatigue / tiredness Those were the main things I can tell you was pretty much a constant. Other things: Restless, felt lazy / lack of energy... Also from the drugs: tired, stuffed nose, runny nose, red eyes, coughing, burns on my fingers, sometimes lips, and also singed hair at times. I also had bruises all over my body at different times, from my liver declining, and from thin blood. It looked like someone pinched me at various places- stomach, legs, under my arms... weird places, you could say. I didn't sleep well- probably passed out, more like it. I was irritable at times, depressed, and had no idea how I would be from day to day. I had to be fake at work, even though I felt awful. At times, though, I didn't even care. It was awful- day after day, feeling this way. I justified it all the time. I made excuses other than what it truly was. You don't have to experience all of these symptoms. I just happened to experience many. You know what's sick? My twisted mind, after reading the symptoms listed (and the ones I related to most at that time were headaches, cold sweats, shaking, and nausea)... I realized it was from withdrawal, so it actually gave me a reason to drink. If I could put into words how I justified it, I'd say something like, "Well, that explains it. I need to drink to get rid of the withdrawal". Crazy! But it’s true, that I needed to drink to get rid of those symptoms. I usually had to force the first one down, but after a while, I got used to it. If I wake up now with any of these things going on, I know it's not from alcohol or drugs. I can feel great about that. And I still do. I get "high" on being out for the sunrise, and being connected to God. I cherish my time with loved ones, instead of hiding things from them. There is nothing wrong with not drinking. In fact, it just may enhance your life, once something else replaces the drinking or drugs. Even if life is low key, low key without being altered is wonderful. It really can be great, even with the challenges. And great, in the truest sense, not blocked by anything. It's a journey, not a destination here on earth. We are passing through. Why not pass through with the best mind and body that we are given, instead of doing our own damage to it, and the self-destruction? Why not? This photo was taken in 2013 in Lamoine, Maine. I was using a Nikon d5100 and kit lenses. F/18 gave that big ol' star burst around the sun. I don't think I ever shoot at f/18 now, except maybe for waterfalls, at times. lol Life is a learning process. This was about capturing memories, and moments. And it still is. For those that don't know, I lost a job in 2013 (lost it sober), so I decided to seize the opportunity to drive the coast of Maine with Bella, for the first time. We explored, I did a lot of soul searching, and was just able to “be”. It was probably thee best thing I have done in my sobriety. Enjoy.



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