• Desha

Yeah, I Drank in Church


Yeah, I Drank in Church... As many of you know, I am 8+ years clean and sober. In my blogging, I sometimes touch on it, or just flat out tell of the experiences I've had in life, including when active in my addiction. I had gotten away from church when I went to college, but somehow started to find my way back when I was still drinking and drugging. I went very sporadically, and even had to leave numerous times, because I felt so sick. I always sat in the back by myself, and didn't want to really talk to anyone, except for small, surface-level stuff. I'd sneak into the bathroom when the choir would sing, and I justified it that I wouldn't be missing much at that time (no offense to any choir members! That was my twisted thinking!). Even the first day I went back to church, I can't remember exactly what one of the members asked me, but I guess I became a little defensive, and asked, "what made you ask that?" in a somewhat abrasive way. I may have been there physically, but not so much mentally, but I was right where I needed to be, regardless. I honestly didn't want bothered too much, but yet, it was nice to be surrounded with nice people. I'm sure many people had stuff to say behind my back, but maybe, just maybe, I was right where I needed to be. Remember, we are "there" at church, because we're not all "here" (pointing to my head). We all have baggage. Some of it's just easier to see on some, than on others. I bet some of your thoughts or actions aren't in alignment with God's way, right? So perhaps you're right where you need to be, too. My physical / external baggage was an outward sign of what was going on inside. I was mentally ill, which lead to the stuff I did. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's something to share because I know others out there are ashamed and are afraid to ask for help. It's really not so bad to reach out. I've learned over the years, that what I've done, others have done, and even some have done worse! And, I am one that has done some worse than others. It's ok to laugh about some of these things with those that understand. Regardless of how we view things today, it doesn't change anything that has happened. Some still turns my stomach a bit, but some is just nuts to where you can't help but smile. In fact, I find it quite amusing that I now help to lead the singing at our second service, after drinking during the choirs' singing, years before. Ha! How's that for God's sense of humor?? Anyway, I hope you're having a good evening. That wind here in the NEPA area is wicked. Please be safe out there. ________ Bella is doing so amazingly well. I'm so proud of her, and I tell her all the time, that no matter what, I'm proud of her. I probably annoy her at times! She got excited for her chicken, as usual. She got to see some of her people friends today, and had a nice visit with her grammie. Thank you all again, for the help and support. We love it, and remember, God loves you! You're never too far gone to make a change. Never too old, never too far gone, and never too lost. Never. You are so loved... messes, and all. This was taken at a sunrise at Old Orchard Beach in Maine, last year. Gotta love the sun dogs. They are just such an amazing gift. May peace wrap you tightly and protect you now, and always. Feel free to contact me for prints or for use of the photo. Feel free to share. Enjoy...


#alcoholism #blogger #photographer #photography #Desha

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